Fire breathing lizards, Dragons and Stupid towns
by GulaGardinerPunktCom
Summary: AU. Alfred F Jones is a hero in trouble. Luckily, he gets a little help from a mage who happens to be passing by.


A small note before we get going: -"_blah blah blah_"- means that Alfred/America hears it in his head, the words aren't actually spoken. I know it looks kinda wonky, but I couldn't think of a better way to do it that would work with FFN's restrictions.

**Fire breathing lizards, Dragons and Stupid towns**

Alfred F Jones wasn't quite sure just _how_ it was that he'd ended up in this situation, but it really wasn't looking good. The villagers had told him that they were being harassed by a big fire breathing lizard, not a freaking _dragon_! Big fire breathing lizards? No problem. Dragons? One totally needs a party for that.

Now, Alfred was a hero and far from planning on giving up and running away – not that he could really, what with the dragon having trapped him in its cave and all – but he really needed to give villagers a stern talking to. You do _not_ lie about quest details, you just don't. It's sending heroes to their deaths.

He cast a glance at his sword (most people tended to stare at it due to its sheer size and he'd heard more than one "are you compensating for something?"-comments, not that he was. Of course not! He was a hero and totally well hung and with awesome muscles and stuff!) with a disgruntled expression on his face.

It was certainly sharp and big enough with enough magic cast on it to get through the dragon's scales, hell, it even had magic runes on it to change its form! He just wasn't quite fast enough to actually get close enough to the beast to strike it. Damn fire breath.

All he needed was a distraction and he could totally chop the head of this damn dragon. What he wouldn't do for a party (or a rather stupid villain) right now.

Another roar and some more flames and Alfred was really getting fed up with the whole situation. It wasn't heroic to sit behind a rock and wait for the dragon to get tired or forget about his existence.

-"_Are you in there, swordsman?_"- Alfred flinched at the sound of a voice inside his head. He started to look around but saw no one. He frowned, was someone trying to contact him telepathically?

'_Uh, yeah?_' he thought with a shrug. No harm in trying, really.

-"_Good,_"- the voice said. Alfred raised an eyebrow, what the heck was going on? -"_I'll "distract" the beast, think you're up for an attack on it?_"- Which of course made Alfred smirk widely, was he ever!

'_Hell yes, you distract that big lizard and I'll chop it to pieces!_' he mentally exclaimed as he reached for his sword with a grin. Maybe he'd gone crazy, but at least he'd go down fighting a dragon for a town. Even if it was a stupid town.

-"_I doubt that. If you had the ability to do that you wouldn't need me, but one solid hit after my "distraction" should be enough._"- Damn that smug voice! He had no idea what this person was planning to do, but he was sure sounding smug about it. Only one hit? What was he planning on doing that would make a dragon go down in one hit?

'_Yeah, whatever. Ready when you are,_' Alfred thought, and no, he totally wasn't sulking! Heroes don't sulk!

The voice said nothing in return, but when Alfred peered over the edge of the large rock he'd been hiding behind he saw the dragon looking between Alfred's rock and the opening of the cave as if unsure if it should attack Alfred or whatever was at the mouth of the cave.

Seeing as the dragon was distracted he got to his feet and almost started charging when the voice echoed inside his head again. -"_Wait! I'll tell you when it's your turn, git. Unless you want to be hit as well, stand back!_"- the voice commanded, and Alfred automatically froze in place.

"Glacies aevum – corpus!" Alfred flinched at the echo of the spell; it had to be a spell because there was a sudden chill that seemingly exploded through the cave. The dragon roared as Alfred's head whipped towards the opening of the cave, because of the outside light, he could only see the silhouette of the person standing there, but it was obviously a mage of some kind.

Then suddenly, the dragon's roar was cut short, making Alfred hurriedly turn his attention back to it. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head, the entire fucking dragon was coated in a layer of ice. Holy shit.

-"_Now! Smash it!_"- The command echoed through his skull and Alfred moved out of sheer reflex. He ran a finger over one of the magical runes engraved in his sword, a giant hammer would be good for smashing he thought, and gripped the changing handle in both hands.

He charged the frozen dragon with his giant hammer and used the momentum of his sprint to really get strength into the swing of it. The speed coupled with Alfred's natural brute strength sent the hammer smashing straight through the dragon.

Alfred watched, a little surprised to be honest, as the entire thing shattered into pieces. How the hell had that mage managed to not only freeze an entire freaking dragon solid – small one or not – and make the ice brittle enough to shatter like this? If Alfred had to guess, then he was dealing with one badass mother fucker.

He ran his hands over another rune and changed the sword back to its original form before sliding it into the hilt he carried on his back.

He passed the shattered pieces of the dragon towards the mouth of the cave. He was interested in what the mage would look like. He was probably a tall old man with white hair with a long matching beard and some expensive looking robes.

Turned out that Alfred was wrong.

The mage waiting for him at the entrance of the cave certainly wasn't what he had expected. Rather than a tall old man, the mage looked young, hardly older than Alfred, not to mention that fact that he was also quite a bit shorter. Where Alfred had expected white hair and a long white beard was short sandy blond hair and not even stubble.

Not to mention that his robes didn't look all that fancy. They were simple and functional, colored a dark green with some kind of runes in a lighter green around the hems of the arms of the robe. He carried a small belt with a few vials and pockets. This mage didn't look old, wise and snooty; he looked young, practical and grumpy.

He also had some of the hugest eyebrows Alfred had ever seen in his life. Holy shit, they were like big fat hairy caterpillars above his eyes or something!

"Dude! Your eyebrows are huge!" Were the first words that oh so eloquently left Alfred's mouth as he stared at the mage. Said mage flushed bright red in rage as he grit his teeth and started shaking in anger.

"That the bloody hell is wrong you? I just saved your bloody useless life you thankless git!"And then he started ranting for nearly ten minutes about how Alfred (mostly referred to as moron, git, imbecile or idiot) could shove his sword up his arse and go die for all he cared.

Then he started picking on Alfred's choice of adventure gear; which kinda pissed Alfred off. He was wearing a rather sensible combination of armor and comfy clothes that were easy to move in. He also totally had a belt for important stuff like money and healing potions, so what the hell was this guy's problem?

"Alright already!" he shouted loudly to get the mage to shut up already. The mage's mouth snapped shut and he looked like he was trying pretty hard to keep from showing that he was breathing rather harshly after screaming for so long.

"I'm Alfred, Alfred Jones," he introduced himself. So what if it was a bit overdue, it certainly wasn't Alfred's fault that the mage had decided to start yelling at him about one thoughtless comment.

"Arthur Kirkland," the mage said snippily. He still seemed rather angry, but at least the red color of this face was fading somewhat. And when he wasn't screaming bloody murder with a tomato red face, he was actually pretty cute.

"Thanks for the save, Arthur," Alfred said cheerfully. "But I totally could have handled it on my own, ya know," he added cockily. Arthur rolled his eyes, they were green, and heaved a sigh.

"If you say so, git," was all he said before he crossed his arms across his chest and glared a bit. Alfred put on his most charming smile because he had an _idea_. Arthur eyed him warily, he seemed like the suspicious type, but Alfred didn't really mind. An awesome swordsman like him needed an awesome mage in his party, and Arthur certainly seemed to fit the bill when it came to power.

"How about we make a party, Arthur? It's always more fun to go adventuring when you're two~!" he said in a sing-song voice. Arthur scrunched his nose unhappily and looked away with a huff.

"Fine," he said shortly making Alfred whoop. He slung an arm around Arthur's shoulders and started dragging him back to town despite his curses and protests. He grinned brightly in the afternoon sun with the feeling that this was the start of something awesome.

He just needed to talk to the townspeople about lying about quest details first.

**The End…?**


End file.
